Monday, August 27, 2012

wobble with it.. or maybe just waddle

Once upon a time I loved to dance.  In fact I still like to, but it's generally while seated in my car.  This little wiggle is nearly as embarrassing for my passengers as my impromptu karaoke, but maybe not quite as much.  At one time I was actually pretty good at boogieing down, or at least in my own mind which is the only reality that is important.  I bring this up because it's something I really miss.  Now I don't wobble as much as I waddle, and not because I'm dub steppin in da club.  I have developed that kind of 8 month pregnant waddle.  The worse the waddle the bigger indication of how bad my pain is in my lower extremities.  I used to get concerned looks, and questions from people at work when the waddle would come out, but now it's so common people just know I'm having a bad day.  Either that or they are thinking my 20 yr old baby fat is the longest pregnancy in the history of man. 

Some days it's hard not to reminisce about all the things I used to be able to do.  I played soccer, I was a gymnast, I was a runner.  All those things fade with age usually anyway, but I don't miss them any less.  It's the things that are daily challenges that get aggravating.  Fastening my bra is one that I never thought I'd wish I could do easily again.  I got a breast reduction to reduce the strain on my back and shoulders, but the ever constant battle of the bra is still a daily challenge.  Of course there's always getting out of bed.  Now that's something that can be a challenge for everyone who holds a job, but for me it's not just a motivational  speech.  It's a concerted effort to actually put weight on my feet in the morning.  Some mornings, more and more frequently, it's just not going to happen.  I can honestly say I wish it was just about motivation to start my day.  Some days it just feels like everything is slipping away.  Then I get in my car and a great song comes on and I wobble right on down the road.