Chugga chugga choo choo

I have been totally lazy since returning from Phoenix.  It's starting to get depressing that I have zero motivation to do anything this week.  I can't even blame it on my disease really.  Yes, I'm sore and having a bit of a flare.  Yes, I'm fatigued and needing naps through the day.  Even with that being said I just feel LAZY.  I haven't even unpacked my suit cases.  They are sitting on top of my dresser with the load of clothes I washed piled up (and folded, at least) on top of them. I need to start thinking like the little train that could and get some chugga chugga choo choo in my life.

I need to give myself a kick in the ass.  The fact that it has been raining the last few day doesn't help my urge to get anything done.

Ok enough of my pity party.  As I mentioned in my last blog I received a tube of Noxicare that I won in a contest.  I am really impressed with it.  I've been using it the last few days that I have been having rain pain.  The first night I applied it to my left shoulder and right hip.  I honestly wasn't expecting much.  I've learned to be pretty jaded about the newest greatest thing on the market.  My shoulder pain went away fairly quickly.  My hip pain however was a bit more stubborn.  I didn't lose faith yet because honestly I have quite a bit of badonkadonk if you know what I mean so there is a lot of donk for the cream to work through to get to the actual bursa which was causing me the pain.  Before bed I reapplied to the hip area and went to bed.  This application did actually help.  My pain wasn't gone, but I was comfortable enough to sleep which is something that rarely happens when my hip bursitis gets flared up.

The next day I decided to try a few new spots.  My right knee was swelling, and my ankles had become cankles.  Keep in mind a dab does it with this stuff.  I rubbed it on and went about my couch warming.  About 20 minutes later the swelling in both the knee and my ankles had reduced and the pain was gone.  I think I'm in love!  Finally this morning I woke up to my shoulders being so swollen I was having issues with my hands falling asleep.  It was so bad I was getting woken up by that awful tingle during the night.  I rubbed some Noxicare into both shoulders and the pain reduced, and I had no more problems with my hands falling asleep.

I highly recommend this for a topical option for pain relief.  It uses natural ingredients to reduce swelling and pain, doesn't smell, and isn't oily.  It is a bit on the costy side, but a small dab goes a long way so a tube should last quite some time.  I'll be adding this to my products I love page!

Noxicare web site

I hope you all have a great week!  Happy Hump day!

H

I've felt like a slug for the last 2 weeks.

I'm sorry for not posting the last few weeks.  I went to Baton Rouge to visit my oldest daughter for Thanksgiving.  It was a wonderful visit and I was actually feeling pretty good besides fatigue.  Then came my Simponi shot.  I waited till I came home from my trip to take it so I wouldn't have to deal with side effects while on the road.  I'm so glad I did.  I had a lot of dizziness and nausea almost immediately.  Within 2 days my skin and joints started to flare.  My joints seem to have leveled out, but my skin has been in constant flare every since.  It has gotten to the point that I need to wear long sleeves and long pants to bed because my skin will crack while I am sleeping and bleed.  I went to get blood work done last week for my appointment this Thursday and the nurse said my skin was probably the worst she's seen on anyone in a long time.  On top of that my fatigue has been even worse than my new norm.  So in conclusion my last 2 weeks have been generally crappy.

I have decided I will no longer be taking Simponi.  I believe that the combo of Arava and Butrans is helping my skin and inflammation significantly.  I will accept the need to take 2-4 naps a day if it means that my pain levels and arthritis flares are what I consider bearable.  I don't believe I am employable still.  I have so many issues with fatigue that I couldn't make it through a work day.  I also still do have mobility and dexterity issues that make doing even clerical tasks painful and impossible most days.

So there you have the last 2 weeks and my excuse for not keeping up with my blog.  I will try to do better.  My oldest daughter is coming home Friday and we will be leaving for Phoenix to spend the holidays with my family. I can't wait to get there.  I miss my family every day and I feel SO much better when I am there physically.

My hand in Psoriasis flare.  You can also see the sausagey swelling in this picture.

Itch Itch Itch...

Last week I thought my skin was getting better.  Tonight, I'm not so sure.  I have to admit that since starting Butrans and Arava I am feeling better overall.  I do need 1-3 naps a day and that is with getting a good 7 hours of sleep at night.  However my pain level is now what I would call livable.  The pain isn't gone by any means, but most of the time it's at a level of annoyance.  I do still need to take a vicodin every few days, but I was taking 2-3 a day most days before the Butrans.  That is a notable improvement in my book.  I also notice my brain is a bit more scattered.  That is probably the Butrans since it is giving me a steady dose of a synthetic morphine all day every day.  ANYWAY back to the skin.  My hands were looking SO much better.  Still scaly, but no splitting or bleeding.  The scales were also less thick on most places I have scales.  Today though I noticed the scales are getting worse again.  My hands, scalp, feet, and ears are feeling like I've got hives, but no such luck.  It's just psoriasis.

I have my Simponi shot next week.  I am not holding out much hope that it is going to do anything at this point.  I've accepted that I won't be returning to work, and honestly with the Butrans lowering my pain levels, at least I can have a level of comfort I haven't had in over a year while I'm not working.

SO now it's time to practice what I preach and do some occlusion, limit my internal stress, and find some external focus.  I think I'll be doing a lot of reading about the disability system.  If only I can stay awake long enough to get through it.

How can more naps be bad???

I think the novel is going to have to wait.  I'm having a lot of brain fog since starting Butrans and Arava.  Every time I try to write I catch myself doing that head bob nod that you do when you are falling asleep at work.  I just can't sit down and write for hours or even an hour.  This blog is about as lengthy as I can get, and even that is hard to concentrate on this morning.  I am having a lot less pain.  I'd call it "functional" pain, however I am having a lot more fatigue.  Monday and yesterday I needed 2 naps to function.  With the time change I am getting up just after 7, but by 9:30 I'm exhausted so it's time for my morning nap.  30 minutes and I'm ready to get going again.  Then in the afternoon around 4 I'm exhausted again so yet another 30 minute nap.  Keep in mind this is not from doing anything high energy.  Monday I worked on crafts.  There was quite a bit of coloring between naps.  Tuesday I did some shredding, sorting and filing.  Today is laundry day, and I got up, had breakfast, did 2 loads of laundry, showered, and I was worn out.  NAP TIME!

I really like naps, but it is still kind of frustrating.  My pain seems to be under control (this week) but I'm too tired to function.  I'd be glad to keep my pain at the level it is now, but I still won't be able to work.  I can't focus, can't stay awake, have no energy, and still have limited strength and dexterity in my hands.

Oh well.  I'm still giving this till December before I file for Disability.  I'm still pretty resigned to the fact that I will probably be filing for Disability.  For now I'm OK with the fact that I'm swapping some pain for needing more naps.  Who doesn't love naps???

Thank God for Netflix and Pinterest!

Yesterday when I woke up I felt good.  My pain was at a manageable level, I had good energy, I felt positive, and when I got on the scale for my Monday weigh in I'd lost another 3 pounds.  I pretty much attributed it to the steroid shot my Dr had given me last week.  I get the shots for my bursa in my hip usually, but they tend to have the wonderful side effect of making my skin better and giving me some relief from arthritic swelling for a few weeks as well.  Apparently I was wrong.  I woke up this morning at 4 in pain.  I read for a few hours and finally dozed back to sleep at around 8, and slept a few more hours.  Now I am in full on flare.  My hands are stiff, the bridge of joints at the base of my toes on my left foot is swollen enough I can't wear shoes, my lower back is throbbing and my right shoulder feels like someone is sticking hot pokers in the joint.  So much for my grand plans of organizing today.  It is going to be a couch, heating pad, surf the net and watch netflix day.

This part of psoriatic arthritis is one of the things that is really hard for people to grasp.  Not only will it flare up out of nowhere  but you never know where it will flare up.  People think sick people are just sick.  Meaning that they are always sick the same way.  When someone says they have arthritis people understand there are affected joints.  They expect to see gnarled and swollen joints, but they expect it to be in a specified place.  They expect you to be able to know the ways you will be limited in specific terms.  It is hard for people to grasp that at 41 some days I can walk a mile, some days I can't even put shoes on, some days I can do things that are very fine detailed work requiring fine motor movements with my hands, some days my fingers are frozen into the claw or swollen so I can't open a jar.  It's not how sick is supposed to be defined in people's mind.  People like to have parameters to fit things into their specific boxes.  Psoriatic arthritis just doesn't play well in that box.

So after a good day yesterday, it's a couch day today.  I think I'll change out my wax melting smelly thing to a new scent.  Something sweet and spicy.  Netflix here I come!