I had my Rheumatology appointment today. It was agreed that it was time to take some medical leave. I am on leave for 3 months. The hope being that in that time I can focus on my health and the Simponi might just kick in. This is pretty much the last ditch effort to keep me employable. At this moment I don't hold much hope, but maybe in a few weeks once I'm hopefully more rested and less stressed I will feel differently.
I have known this was coming. Even yesterday I was positive this would be the result of today's appointment, but it still took the breath out of me when I left the Dr and had a moment alone in my car. I had a good cry on the way home, and now I'm decided to just let myself feel. I'll start dealing with reality tomorrow.
Being the holiday season is quickly approaching us I'll have lots of things to keep me occupied. I'll need to set myself some kind of loose schedule to keep track of the days and not wallow in self pity. How do others in this situation fill their time/track their time? I am lucky that my misery has some company. Not that either of us are really lucky we are each other's company, but I do feel fortunate that I know someone who's been through this before and who will help me with advice and emotional support any time I ask.
For now I'm off to watch some sappy chick flicks, ice my bursa that had the horse needle plunged into it and maybe take a nap. Tomorrow I will face reality and come up with some sort of plan.