Monday, September 17, 2012

Vampire Diaries

I'll admit it.  I'm hooked.  Thanks to Netflix I will probably get no sleep till I finish season 3.  It seems this season is all about teenagers drinking away their problems.  Oh how I wish I could have a Jack and diet coke.  It's been a hell of a week and I'd love to numb not just my body pain, but the emotional ache as well.

That being said how nice it would be to have a friend who could heal me.  I'd consider drinking blood even if it was a temporary fix.  Say a year or two of relief for an ounce of sucking blood.  Oh the lengths we will go to for the illusion of normalcy.  As it is we are willing to take drugs that have the potential to cause other severe health issues.  We are willing to put up with nausea, fatigue, brain fog, confusion, insomnia, and any other side effect just for some minimal bit of relief.  I can see the draw of a life of youth, beauty, and strength with the small trade off of never eating garlic again and sticking with the raw end of the meat plate.  I always liked my steak on the rare side anyway.

So since I can't live in vampire land I guess I'll take my chances with my next dose of Simponi.  I get my next shot on my birthday.  Happy birthday to me!!  My birthday weekend will probably be spent nauseated and dizzy.  YEAH!.  I don't notice that I am having any improvement in my first month of this newest miracle drug.  My skin continues to be worse than when I started.  In fact my skin hurts more than it ever has.  No amount of occlusion, oil baths, lotion, nut butter, and steroids has brought relief.  My joints don't seem to be any better or any worse.  They are just plain unhappy.  I will however keep trying this medicine in hopes that it will have a cumulative effect at least until December.  In January I go back to having to pay full price thanks to the beginning of the year out of pocket expenses that comes with having insurance.  I'm not going to pay over $1000 for a medication that isn't working.

Now I'm back to watching Vampire Diaries.  Oh the sex pots will follow me to my dreams (please).