I had my Rheumatology appointment today. It was agreed that it was time to take some medical leave. I am on leave for 3 months. The hope being that in that time I can focus on my health and the Simponi might just kick in. This is pretty much the last ditch effort to keep me employable. At this moment I don't hold much hope, but maybe in a few weeks once I'm hopefully more rested and less stressed I will feel differently.
I have known this was coming. Even yesterday I was positive this would be the result of today's appointment, but it still took the breath out of me when I left the Dr and had a moment alone in my car. I had a good cry on the way home, and now I'm decided to just let myself feel. I'll start dealing with reality tomorrow.
Being the holiday season is quickly approaching us I'll have lots of things to keep me occupied. I'll need to set myself some kind of loose schedule to keep track of the days and not wallow in self pity. How do others in this situation fill their time/track their time? I am lucky that my misery has some company. Not that either of us are really lucky we are each other's company, but I do feel fortunate that I know someone who's been through this before and who will help me with advice and emotional support any time I ask.
For now I'm off to watch some sappy chick flicks, ice my bursa that had the horse needle plunged into it and maybe take a nap. Tomorrow I will face reality and come up with some sort of plan.
You're really being smart, Heather. Nobody wants to be in your situation, but I see a lady who's taking things realistically and taking the appropriate steps to protect her current & future wellbeing. I keep track of the days by my daughter's life...not sure what I'll do once she leaves the nest? One must is large & highly visible white-board calendars that you can write on & wipe off as needed! Of course, lists everywhere is another must! Most of my time is spent finding ways to distract myself from the pain...it's truly exhausting, though I'm not doing much physically. I'll be starting some hydro physical therapy soon...the warm pool is a must as I cannot tolerate any other physical therapy. Hoping this will get me back on my physical routine of walking at least 3 times per week. It's just one day at a time filled with trying to manage the pain while still being productive...you MUST lower your standards and accept that "productive" now means maybe one or two tasks per day...if you overdo it, you'll be down for a week or two...it's about the balance, I guess. I'm looking forward to having a "buddy" for the next few months! Maybe we can help each other find the right combination of activity & rest?
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