I think the novel is going to have to wait. I'm having a lot of brain fog since starting Butrans and Arava. Every time I try to write I catch myself doing that head bob nod that you do when you are falling asleep at work. I just can't sit down and write for hours or even an hour. This blog is about as lengthy as I can get, and even that is hard to concentrate on this morning. I am having a lot less pain. I'd call it "functional" pain, however I am having a lot more fatigue. Monday and yesterday I needed 2 naps to function. With the time change I am getting up just after 7, but by 9:30 I'm exhausted so it's time for my morning nap. 30 minutes and I'm ready to get going again. Then in the afternoon around 4 I'm exhausted again so yet another 30 minute nap. Keep in mind this is not from doing anything high energy. Monday I worked on crafts. There was quite a bit of coloring between naps. Tuesday I did some shredding, sorting and filing. Today is laundry day, and I got up, had breakfast, did 2 loads of laundry, showered, and I was worn out. NAP TIME!
I really like naps, but it is still kind of frustrating. My pain seems to be under control (this week) but I'm too tired to function. I'd be glad to keep my pain at the level it is now, but I still won't be able to work. I can't focus, can't stay awake, have no energy, and still have limited strength and dexterity in my hands.
Oh well. I'm still giving this till December before I file for Disability. I'm still pretty resigned to the fact that I will probably be filing for Disability. For now I'm OK with the fact that I'm swapping some pain for needing more naps. Who doesn't love naps???
I feel like the "fog" is what did me in at work...however, my fog evolved from the disease itself...not the treatments. I went a year without any pain medication of any sort (boy, that was not a good year!), and nearly 2 years without any disease-modifying treatments and the fog persisted. My steel-trap mind just slipped away regardless. I've always contributed it to being in constant pain and having to utilize every brain cell to overcome the pain long enough to do the simplest, most mundane daily tasks...like taking a shower and brushing my teeth mundane. Just walking from the bedroom to the kitchen is exhausting when every inch of your body inside & out is on fire, won't flex, and just weighs you down like you're carrying a two-ton weight around all the time. I had a good 4 years on Arava and I hope it kicks in for you so you can do all the things that make you happy!
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